Match #1 was a three way dance and the winner would be presented the CSCW Cruiserweight Championship.

Your Referee is Will Pinn.

First, he weighs in at 170 pounds and he is from Dallas, he is Scott Stuart. I’m sitting with my friend Vic and two of his friends are next to him, and we’re all Ringside. Scott walks up by us and badmouths us.

Second, "Straight from work" he is Tim "The Maniac" Mechanic. Tim looks like he’s a mechanic alright. He would fit right in with Vito and Guido Andretti, The Andretti Express in NWA Ohio Valley.

Their opponent, weighs in at 160 pounds and he is from Lacrosse, Wisconsin, he is The Platinum Kid. The Kid comes out with shiny silver pants.

Hiptoss on Platinum Kid by Scott Stuart. Scott kicks ass. Tim Mechanic is on the floor and he told Scott to beat that guy. Bodyslam by Platinum on Scott. Dropkick by Scott on Platinum Kid for a 2 count. Tim Mechanic is in the ring and the heels give Platinum Kid a double-clothesline. Mechanic with an Irish Whip and clothesline on The Platinum Kid and the heels give The Kid a double-vertical suplex. Scott puts the boots to The Kid’s head when he’s on the mat. Mechanic says "Let me show you how it’s done" and he starts putting the boots to The Platinum Kid’s head. Tim Mechanic turned on Scott Stuart and The Kid is getting up. Platinum goes for the pin on Scott and it’s broken up by Mechanic. The Mechanic put The Kid in a variation of The Sharpshooter and then the heels grabbed The Kid’s leg and it’s make-a-wish time on The Kid. The Kid is down the heels rake their boots on The Kid’s face. Scott gives Mechanic a suplex and The Kid gives Mechanic a Legdrop. Scott gives The Kid a superkick as The Kid stands back up. Scott comes up by us and says "How did you like that?" and I clapped and he said "Thank you." Scott with an Irish Whip and a backdrop on The Kid. Mechanic kicked The Kid in the balls! As The Kid is down, Scott gives him a dropkick in the head. The Kid is out of the ring and Scott with a Plancha on The Kid. Back in the ring, The Kid with a clothesline on Scott. Mechanic with a clothesline on The Kid and he puts Kid in the surfboard. Kid won’t submit. Scott breaks it up with a double axehandle from the second rope on Mechanic. Platinum climbs the turnbuckles to the second rope and he walks the rope a la The Spoiler or The Undertaker and hits Mechanic with an elbowdrop from the second rope. 1 count on Mechanic by The Platinum Kid. Scott goes for a Powerbomb on Kid but The Kid slips out. Mechanic goes for a pin on Scott, but Scott puts his foot on the rope. Referee Will Pinn says "His foot’s on the rope" and Mechanic replies "Hell if it ain’t." Scott puts the boots to Mechanic. Platinum with a moonsault off the top rope on Mechanic for a two count. Mechanic slapped Platinum hard in the face. Scott with a legdrop on The Kid and he gets a two count. Mechanic does a flip off the top rope on Scott. He climbs the rope and does another flip off the top rope on Scott. He climbs the ropes and asks "Should I do it again" and we say Yes so he hits it a third time. The Platinum Kid has removed his shirt and he climbs to the top rope. He hits a 450 Splash on Mechanic for the three count. Scott and Mechanic fight in the ring after the match. Scott with a Powerbomb variation and he left Mechanic laying. The Mechanic falls out of the ring and hits the floor. He slowly gets to his feet and says "Who are you people?" He’s got amnesia. A fan says "Is my car ready?" as Tim "The Maniac" Mechanic goes back to the dressing room. The Platinum Kid took his gold belt with red leather trim and went to the back when Tim Mechanic and Scott Stuart were fighting.

Winner and NEW CSCW Cruiserweight Champion: The Platinum Kid

After the match, Scott Stuart walks up by us again and he calls Dennis a "toothless wonder." (Dennis has one tooth that is chipped.) We thought that was funny. The night is just getting started for poor Dennis.

Match #2: "Psycho" Smasher vs. __________ (I missed his name, he’s a face)
Your Referee is Mike Bodine (Vic yells "Where’s Jethro?")

He weighs in at 242 pounds and he is from Sacramento, California, "Psycho" Smasher. Smasher comes over by us and I stick out my hand to shake and Smasher says "I’m not gonna shake your hand."

His opponent is 6 feet 8 inches tall (Smasher says "He is not") and he weights 280 pounds (Smasher says "He’s lying"). He is from Kansas and I missed his name. I’ll have to refer to him as "Face" since Smasher was a heel.

Smasher with a headlock on Face. Smasher with three chops in the corner on Face and I say "Whoo!" after each chop. Face with a clothesline on Smasher That sends Smasher out of the ring. Smasher grabs a chair and throws it but he doesn’t hit any fans. He grabs another one and overturns it. A woman hands him a chair and Smasher says "I’ll save it for later" and he rests it next to The Ring Post. Face with another clothesline on Smasher in the ring. Face with a shouldertackle and I tell Vic that The XFL could use him. Smasher goes to the top rope and does a Flying Bodypress but he gets caught. Powerslam and a two count. Smasher has brass knuckles. Face got the knuckles and used them on Smasher. Face got the three count on Smasher, but then Mike Bodine found the brass knuckles and he reversed the decision. Smasher wins by Disqualification.

Winner: Smasher by Disqualification.

Match #3: Kryptonite vs. Grenade
Will Pinn is the Referee for this match.
The theme from the movie Superman starts and I say "Whoo!" Vic says to me "That’s not Ric Flair’s music." I had to think for a minute before I realized it was the theme from Superman. Out comes Kryptonite in a silver and blue superhero suit with a big "S" on the chest. (He needs a cape). He weighs 253 pounds, and I didn’t catch where he’s from. Kryptonite gets the microphone from The Ring Announcer. Kryptonite gives us a lecture where he says he’s glad to see all of us reporters and he calls The Ring Announcer "Jimmy." A girl yells at him to "Shut up already!"

200 pounds, the Hometown Hero from Pittsburg, Kansas, Grenade. He got a loud pop from the fans for being a hometown hero. He wears a black mask and he’s got black and white camouflaged pants. He’s carrying a few grenades with him! Kryptonite climbs the turnbuckles near me and holds him arms up for approval. I clap and no one else does. Kryptonite climbs down and Grenade climbs up the same turnbuckle and everyone claps.

They lock up collar-and-elbow and Kryptonite punches Grenade. They lock up collar-and-elbow again. Grenade backs Kryptonite into the corner and he gives Kryptonite three chops and I say "Whoo!" each time. Grenade with an armbar. Kryptonite breaks the armbar with a punch. Kryptonite throws Grenade out of the ring. Kryptonite goes out of the ring out of him. Kryptonite jumps off the ring apron and he gets caught by Grenade. Grenade gives Kryptonite an Atomic Kneedrop on the floor. Grenade with another atomic kneedrop on Kryptonite. Kryptonite is on the floor and The Referee counts to eight before Kryptonite makes it back to the apron. Grenade with a vertical suplex on Kryptonite. Grenade climbs to the top rope. Kryptonite runs to the ropes and hits them so Grenade loses his balance and falls off the top rope. Kryptonite stomps his foot on the ground three times, is he loading his boot? He runs across the ring and Grenade is standing up in the corner. It looks like a Superkick but instead Kryptonite stops and he pokes Grenade in the eye. Grenade gets Kryptonite in the corner and he climbs the turnbuckles and starts punching and I start counting. He gets to six punches before Kryptonite hits a Powerbomb. Kryptonite goes for the pin and uses the ropes but The Referee sees his feet on the ropes. Grenade gets an inside cradle for the three count. After the match, Kryptonite gets the mic from "Jimmy" and he chases after "Jimmy" but they’re only walking.

Match #4: Hardcore 3 Way Streetfight
Storm vs. Rage vs. _________ (He's a Heel, I’ll refer to him as "Heel")
Mike Bodine is The Referee for this match.
Double team on Rage. Rage is a face and Storm is a heel. The heel turned on Storm. Rage with an elbowdrop on the heel and he is down. Rage went outside the ring and pulled out a bent up trash can lid, a broom handle, and a chair that he threw in the ring. He pulled out three things that look like cookie sheets, only they’re about three or four times bigger, and he throws two trash can lids in the ring as well. Rage kicked Storm between the legs when he’s on the floor on the other side of the ring. Rage gets in the ring and he hits the heel with one of the giant sized cookie sheets. The Heel is just standing there smiling. He hits him with the second giant cookie sheet and The Heel is still standing. He hits him with the third giant cookie sheet and The Heel finally falls to the mat. Storm hits Rage with the broom handle. Storm put a steel chair on Rage’s head and hit a legdrop on Rage. Storm hit Rage with a steel chair. The heel is out of the ring and he’s coming back in the ring, and Rage kicked The Heel’s feet and he fell and racked himself on the middle rope. Rage beat Storm down and he came off the second rope with an elbowdrop on Storm. Heel puts the boots to Rage. Heel held Rage so Storm could use a tray. Rage ducks and Storm hits the heel with the giant cookie sheet. There is a metal canister in the ring that looks something like a portable oxygen tank, about that size and shape. Storm placed the tank on Rage’s chest. Storm climbed the ropes and jumped off with a splash and Rage got out of the way and Storm landed on the metal canister! Storm went for a pin and he got a two count and the Heel broke it up. Heel went for the pin on Storm and he kicked out. Heel puts the three giant trays on top of each other in the center of the ring. Rage is outside with a steel chair and the Heel is close to the ropes and Rage whacks The Heel with the chair. Storm put Rage in the corner and he put a chair on Storm’s head. Storm went for a shoulderblock, Rage moved and Storm hit the chair. Rage went for the pin and got the win.

Winner: Rage (he pinned Storm)

Match #5: Doug "The Thug" Masters vs. The Tiger Kid
From 260 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, Doug "The Thug" Masters.
The song "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent plays and he weighs in at 218 pounds and he is from Osaka, Japan, The Tiger Kid
The Tiger Kid comes by and gives me a high 5.
Doug "The Thug" said something to a woman behind me, and I don't know
what he said, but she turned red and started laughing.

They lock up collar-and-elbow. Doug backed Tiger Kid into the corner and he gives Tiger Kid a clean break. Tiger goes for a headlock. Doug with an Irish Whip and Tiger comes off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Tiger with a headlock and he takes him to the mat and gets a two count. Doug pulls Tiger Kid’s tights and Doug gets a two count. Doug pulls the tights again and gets another two count. They get up and Doug catches The Tiger Kid with a hiptoss. Tiger gets Doug The Thug with a kneelift. Tiger Kid with a punch on Doug, and he backs Doug into the corner and Tiger Kid unloads with punches and kicks. Doug gets the advantage and stands on Tiger Kid’s head. Doug yells something at Dennis and I look at Dennis and say "Man, nobody likes you." Doug has Tiger Kid in the corner and he gives him an Irish Whip and Tiger Kid hits the opposite turnbuckles. Doug charges the corner and Tiger Kid moves and Doug hits hard. Tiger Kid with a chop and I say "Whoo!" Tiger Kid climbs to the top rope and does a somersault splash that misses. Doug says "I got him now" but as he moves in, Tiger Kid gets a small package for the three count.

Winner: The Tiger Kid